LAST STOP: INSANITY
by The OINKettes
Summary: YYH Crossover- Kenshin and the gang are on a train when suddenly, everything goes horribly wrong... They get stuck onboard and meet a few new faces. Will they ALL be able to get off before they drive each other clinically insane? R&R!
1. Manic Escapees

A/N: This is a joined penname. We are Son Christine and TheNautiDolphin. Some of you may have heard of us and some of you may not have. This is a new little diddy that we came up with randomly and it's all about the humor baby! Not to mention that it is a crossover with YYH and possibly IY. So this story is all about our favorite posse being STUCK in a train, much to Sanosuke's dismay. Our favorite characters encounter new faces and this is where the perils begin. Uh-oh. Will they ever get off this train? You have to read to find out! Enjoy!

Last Stop: Insanity

"There's no way that this thing can move this fast! Damn it, Kenshin! Can't we WALK home instead?" The tallest of the lot inquired. "I mean, it's bad enough that you had to drag me here but now you're making me ride on this train with a bunch of freaks!" The histrionics of Sanosuke and the sickeningly polite smile coming from Kenshin was enough to make Kaoru reach into her purse for a bottle of aspirin. And unbeknownst to her, Sanosuke suddenly snatched it out of her hands and instantaneously shoved a few down his throat. One would think that he was bracing himself for a long, hard drinking contest with Katsu. "Sorry Jou-chan but I'm gonna need this." Kaoru shrugged.

"Well at least it'll make you shut up," she replied wryly, rolling her blue eyes.

"I think that we should ask the driver what's going on, that we should," the redhead interjected the others' fighting. The other two quieted down and followed Kenshin towards the front of the train. Between two of the cars, they had to be very careful crossing.

"Kenshin," Kaoru inquired, "can you help me across?" Sanosuke snorted.

"Ah, don't be such a wuss, Jou-chan," Sanosuke teased. "Of course, I'll help you, Kaoru…" Kenshin was about to look lovingly at her when suddenly, they heard the deep chuckle of none other than Shishio Makoto.

"So I was late to the goody-two-shoes convention, sue me…" Shishio muttered in between intimidating and manic cackles.

"What are YOU doing here, you cold-blooded kleptomaniac?!" Kenshin muttered irately, running a hand through his crimson hair.

"Cough FREE COUNTRY cough," The bandaged man retorted to his rival, laughing heartily at random.

"Uhmm, are you on Prozac or something?" Kaoru asked as she massaged her temples.

"Don't be whacked out, Jou-chan. His hormones must have BURNED away…" Sanosuke muttered, looking out of the window. His hamster sized brain finally processed and remembered that he was still on a train… Once this rather obvious fact clicked, he shrieked like a schoolgirl, ran aimlessly around in circles, and was abruptly slapped by his best friend.

"Sorry, Sano but you were being girlier than Kamatari-san…" Kenshin muttered. Kaoru had known her friends for a while and knew that they were AHEMinteresting but that last comment really wasn't necessary. Shishio shuddered.

Kenshin spoke up again, Shishio covering his ears with randomly acquired earplugs. "Shishio, I'm sure you want to be here even less than I do. All we want to do is get to the driver and ask him how we can get off of this train, so if you'll just excuse us…" he trailed off, attempting to squeeze by.

"I don't think so, Battousai. I didn't follow you all day just to let you pass by…"

"Eww, you creepy stalker!" Kaoru shrieked, hiding behind Kenshin.

"Shishio, he ain't gonna fight you on a train of all places. Let us by so we can get off this train and maybe then you can get your ass whooped by Kenshin," Sanosuke said loyally as he puffed out his chest.

"Down dog boy," Shishio spat out, now ignoring Sanosuke. "Battousai, if you don't fight me…I'll uh…make sure that you never eat a home cooked meal again!" Kaoru raised an eyebrow.

"YES!" Kenshin shrieked, forgetting for a moment that Kaoru was the one who MADE his meals…well, even if they were pathetic excuses for food. Kaoru tapped her foot in annoyance and Kenshin begged for her forgiveness.

"You're sad. Sad, sad, sad, sad," Shishio said as he continued to say that one word in hopes of putting the redhead down. But then again, did he really have to keep his insult lasting for five full minutes…? "Sad, sad, sad, sad, OWWWWWW!" Kaoru smacked him with her purse with a handy reflex that made Shishio fall backwards. To everyone's surprise, he was rendered unconscious.

"Now's our chance, guys. We can get to the driver now that Shishio is passed out!" Kaoru added cheerfully, curling a few loose strands of hair rather innocently.

"Maybe we should let Kaoru lead…" Kenshin muttered as he put a hand behind his back.

"So let's get going!" Sanosuke said as he pulled out a week old fishbone and shoved it into his mouth.

Sanosuke took a step forward and suddenly the train stopped. "Finally…" Kaoru muttered, and moved toward the door, waiting for it to open. Instead, the lights inside the train flickered, then all went out except for one. Sanosuke fell to the floor, purple in the face.

"Choking…on…fishbone…" he managed to sputter.

"Sanosuke!" Kenshin cried, at loss of what to do. Suddenly, a sharp blade was shoved through the crack in the door and began to pry the door open. On the other side could be seen a youth with black, slicked back hair, a pissed off midget with two-toned hair, and another of whose gender Kenshin couldn't exactly determine. Kenshin flashed him one of his smiles, missing the shortest one rolling his eyes, and helped them force open open the door. Sanosuke turned a deeper shade of purple, if that was possible, when the door finally opened.

"Well whaddya know! We've suddenly climbed aboard the S.S. Escapee-from-the-manic-asylum!" The juvenile delinquent remarked excitedly. "Oh right. Name's Yusuke. Urameshi. And these are my 'friends.' Hiei," the teen boy pointed to the morose looking demon dressed in black from head to toe, "And Kurama." Again, he pointed but this time, to the young man with bright red hair and flashing emerald eyes. Much unlike Hiei, Kurama was smiling brightly, offering to shake hands with Kenshin, Kaoru, and Sanosuke (the purple hue in his face had subsided into a cool blue shade by that time).

The six people stood there for a few moments before Hiei spoke to Yusuke and Kurama's surprise. "Huh, well it's no wonder that we've come to stumble upon such fools. The Tantei just HAD to use my weapon to slice open this door. And if he hadn't, we wouldn't have to go through with such a foolish charade." Hiei suddenly pointed to Kenshin.

"Oro!" He squeaked in shock. The beady red eyes of Hiei had caused Kenshin to swallow hard. Yes, he was NOT a very friendly and inviting character, that he wasn't.

"You look like a weak and pathetic ningen while on the other hand, you…" He pointed to Sanosuke. Okay seriously, all the pointing was getting kind of old. "Do you posses superhuman abilities?"

Sanosuke finally hacked up the fishbone and stood up to answer Hiei's question.

"I could probably kick your ass," he said, towering over Hiei's five-foot frame, "but if you're lookin' for 'superhuman abilities', you'd have to talk to Kenshin over here." Kenshin just smiled broadly back at Hiei.

"You. Have. Got. To be. Kidding. Me." Hiei stared in disbelief at the redhead. "I'm outta here." Unfortunately for our youkai, the doors clanged shut once again, the power started back up, and before anyone knew it, the train was started back up. "Crap!" Hiei shouted. "I'm stuck with YOU people? We JUST got out of that FREAKING MALL!" Hiei sulked off into a corner, grabbing his katana from Yusuke and brandishing it at anyone who dared come near. Everyone decided to ignore him.

"So," Kaoru spoke to Kurama and Yusuke, "What brings you guys here?"

"We went to visit Kurama's mother, Minamino Shiori. And I felt like coming and tagging along only for the free food and stuff." Kurama eyed Yusuke. "Just kidding, man. Well anyways, since it was late and stuff, we decided to take this train but look at what happened now. Hiei's right though. We just got outta that mall and God knows where Youko went off to." Kurama smirked.

"Yes, a charming boy. I believe he was the reason as to why Hiei lost his temper. It was because he had cunningly recorded Hiei kissing someone." Kenshin and Kaoru looked at Hiei and it wasn't long before they were doubled over in hysterical laughter.

"HIM? SENTIMENTAL? You've GOT to be pulling my leg!" Kaoru said as she wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"Looks like ya already know him. Meet Hiei: the manic homicidal-half-pint with the patience resembling that of a komodo dragon!" Yusuke chirped while simultaneously dodging the earplugs that Hiei found and threw at him.

"You seem to be very strong yourself, that you do," Kenshin remarked.

"Sure am. I'm a hanyou."

"What ARE you people!?" Sanosuke screamed, smacking himself in the face to make sure that he was in fact sober. "I mean, seriously, people, you expect me to believe you are all a bunch of demons living in the human world?" Sanosuke shrieked.

"Well, uh…" Kurama began, but the badass just cut him off.

"Nevermind, I don't wanna know." Suddenly, a man in a striped suit appeared at the other end of the car.

"Hello, folks. I'm your conductor this evening," he said, handing out tickets to each person on the train. Then he stood there, waiting for payment. He attempted to ask Hiei, but was shut up immediately at Hiei's evil glare. Kurama and Yusuke paid up their shares. Kenshin dug his hand into his pocket, finding a large hole in its bottom. He turned a violent shade of pink, turning towards Kaoru.

"Um, I hate to ask, but…" Kaoru just rolled her eyes and paid for herself and Kenshin. The conductor turned to Sanosuke, who was sitting in one of the seats, relaxed.

"Put it on my tab," he said, lazily opening one of his eyes to survey the man and then shutting it again.

"Sir, we don't have 'tabs', as you call them."

"Fine then. Jou-chan? Can ya spot me the money?" Kaoru let out a frustrated sigh.

"You guys both owe me BIG!"

"Thank you," the conductor said as she placed the money in his hand. "I'll be up in the front of the train if you need me." He turned to leave, but then, remembering something, turned around. "Wasn't there a, uh, rather…unusual looking man lying on the floor here before?"

"True, that is rather strange," Kurama said, stroking his chin. "I wonder where he could have gotten to…"

Kaoru shoved her wallet back into her purse and shrugged. "I guess I should have hit him harder…" Kurama's eyes went wide in fear and shock. Not only was he trapped with his regular troupe of freaks, but he was now stuck with a violent PMSing girl. Kenshin scrutinized the area while the conductor shrugged lethargically and ran back to his seat in the front of the vehicle, the train was still moving after all.

"Wait… do you guys hear that?" Yusuke inquired looking up at the roof of the train. Faint taps could be heard and Sanosuke smacked himself in the head again. "Atsuko made me cut back on the vodka so I know I'M not drunk…" The delinquent said again, adding his two cents as he usually did.

"Well what is it then? I know I'm certainly not imagining anything, that I'm not." Kenshin muttered. "Shishio is unbelievably strong but there's no way that he could just vanish…"

Hiei actually found all of their cluelessness rather fun. In fact, he wanted to mock them. "Huh, you fools were too busy thinking about your insignificant 'money' that you failed to see that bandaged weakling climb atop this pathetic ningen device…" Hiei raised a hand, his forefinger outstretched and pointing to the roof. It was at that moment when everyone heard Shishio screaming.

"WHOOHOO! I AM THE KING! I AM THE…KING! BOW TO ME BOW TO…!" _Wham!_ They all cringed once they heard some loud crash. And Kurama, being the most intelligent out of the bunch, decided to look out the window. He noticed Shishio lying on the floor, the train sailing father and farther away from him.

"It looks like he fell off…" Kurama said in a monotonous voice.

"Then that's one down…" Yusuke moaned.

Kenshin turned to Kurama and Yusuke, not even bothering to speak two words to Hiei, in fear of his head being sliced off, "Did you guys happen to know where this train was headed when you got on?"

"Actually," Yusuke said, "We were kind of trying to dodge one of our friends. Pretty much every time she comes back into town, we get called off on some mission or another, and we're all a little sick and tired of it. Basically, in our rush, we kinda just hopped on the first train we saw." Kenshin sighed.

"I guess the only thing we can do is just ask the driver."

"Okay, Kenshin," Sanosuke piped up, "You do that. I'll be sitting here." Just then Hiei gave a menacing growl. "On the other hand," Sanosuke changed his mind, "I could just go by myself!" He sped from the car in the direction the conductor had come from.

"So, since…Sano-suck-ee or whatever his name is…" Yusuke sounded out.

"It's Sanosuke," Kurama corrected, smiling at Kenshin and Kaoru.

"Oi, fox-boy! Aren't YOU full of kindness today!" Kurama shrugged and Hiei just growled again.

"I detest your enthusiastic approaches, Kurama," Hiei warned. Kurama simply rolled his eyes. They were best friends and if there was one thing that Kurama knew about Hiei it was that he was all talk…well…up until he took out his katana and hacked at something, that is.

"Well since SANOSUKE isn't gonna be back for a few minutes or whatever, let's play a game of cards! Whaddya say?" The romantic pair nodded quickly and Kurama surely had no objection. The Tantei glanced at Hiei. "C'mon, play with us. You KNOW you'd have the upper hand because no one's got a poker face like yours."

"True," Hiei said, feeding his already over-inflated ego.

"So let's play!" Yusuke shrieked.

"Hold on a second!" Sanosuke cried, bursting back into their car and falling over out of breath. "The…conductor…passed out…on the floor…for some reason…" Everyone's eyes suddenly went wide and they all felt a gradual decrease of speed… ---

A/N: This is Son Christine and TheNautiDolphin signing out! We really hoped you liked this first chapter! Please review because we love feedback, de gozaru yo!!


	2. They've Lost It

A/N: Sorry it took a while to update but now we've got chapter 2! Read, review, and enjoy their manic/dangerous behavior as they are all trapped horribly on this ever crowded train/subway!!! (A lot of slashes...)

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, Sano-SUCK-ee!" Yusuke said to the panting teen, laughing at his own joke.

"Hopefully, the train will stop and let us out this time!" Kaoru exclaimed, all too eager to get out of the train car, as it was getting extremely stuffy. Everyone in the car (except Hiei of course) waited on bated breath for the train to screech to a halt. After a few minutes, they realized that the train was not in fact about to stop. Everyone sighed, annoyed at the long, cooped-up journey they were sure was to come.

"Oh, well," Yusuke said in a defeated voice. He then perked up, saying, "Looks like we'll just have to play cards!" Everyone grumbled, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"C'mon, Hiei!" Kurama chirped. "You know you rock at five-card stud!"

"Oh, all right," the demon sighed exasperatedly. Ego already inflated, he decided to show off his superhuman speed to the newcomers. He zipped over to a space between Kaoru and Kurama.

"Psh!" Sanosuke scoffed. "You think you're hot stuff, Speedy Gonzalez? Well, Kenshin's probably ten times faster than you. Come to think of it, I BET he is! You versus Kenshin, front of the train and back. Loser has to go wake up the driver."

"Ano...Sanosuke, I don't think this is the best idea..." Kenshin tried to stop him, not liking where this whole conversation was headed.

"We'll take you on!" Yusuke hollered, cutting Kenshin off. "Get ready to get your ass whooped!"

"I'll believe it when I see it, You-suck-EE!" Sanosuke hollered back, using the other teen's own dismissal. "All right, Kenshin," he continued, slapping his pal on the back. "Get ready to have Hiei eat your...Holy shit." Sanosuke didn't exactly like the amber shade Kenshin's eyes were turning. "I had no idea you could slap the Battousai INTO him!!"

"The WHAT?" Yusuke said, a rather dense expression soon following his inquiring statement. "Okay, I KNEW we were all freaks but having your eyes change colors?! You schizophrenic…thing!"

Sanosuke scoffed. "You're just jealous 'cause midget can't do it!"

"Oh yeah?" Yusuke shot back, just about ready to beat the tar out of the ex-gangster.

"Sano, Yusuke, I guess we should start then," Kenshin…or should we say…Battousai, muttered under his breath, bangs shielding his eyes. Kaoru watched him in excitement. It wasn't necessarily a BAD thing for her to get turned on whenever he went Battousai on his enemies was it? Naw, of course not.

"You can do it, Kenshin!" Kaoru encouraged while he casually smiled at her and looked at Hiei. They were pretty even in height…which was rather sad. Everyone except for Kurama anxiously awaited for the two of them to bolt out of the car. The thing was, once they started to run, Kurama mischievously pulled out his rose whip and tripped the two fighters.

"Please keep your adrenaline in check you two. I don't think that solving something this ridiculous in a train is very important right now…" He rubbed the bridge of his nose nonchalantly. "And besides, with me being the infamous thief of Makai, I think that I could outrun the both of you…"

Hiei's eye twitched ever slightly. "What, kitsune!?"

"All right, Mr. Pink-hair," Sanosuke drawled, ignoring Hiei's comment. "As long as this punk over here is willing to just give it up, we'll all just sit right back down to a nice game of cards." At that point, Kenshin had managed to get a handle on his Battousai and now resumed his big, indigo eyes.

"Yes, let's everyone just settle down."

"So," Yusuke said, a little defeated, "What's it gonna be? What card game are we playing?"

Hiei spoke up, "You said we could play poker." No one dared argue, so Yusuke shuffled and dealt everyone five cards. Just as Kurama was about to trade two of his cards for new ones, the train lurched, stopping a little too abruptly for everyone's stomachs to agree with.

"Heh, anyone for Fifty-two Pick-up?" Sanosuke said as the cards fluttered to the floor of the train.

"All this stopping crap is REALLY getting old, you know..." Kaoru muttered under her breath.

"Hear, hear," Yusuke agreed, punching a fist into the air. Kurama rolled his eyes but hardly expected much less from the juvenile delinquent. Nevertheless, Hiei and Kenshin, with such speed of theirs, had managed to smite the 'fifty-two pick up' game by retrieving each and every card, Sanosuke's jaw dropping open.

"Damn, you're as fast as Kenshin, short stuff." Hiei glared malevolently at the obviously less intelligent man, causing the aforementioned gangster to shut his mouth right away.

"I raise two," the cold youkai replied harshly as he lethargically tossed two white coins into the pot. Everyone did the same.

"FUCK IT ALL!" Yusuke screeched, throwing his cards down in defeat. "Uhmm...I mean, I fold...?"

The other five passengers just rolled their eyes. "I fold, too," Kaoru sighed, revealing only a pair of threes. Sanosuke glanced around the other players, studying their moves.

"Stop stalling, idiot," Hiei grumbled.

Sanosuke responded, "I raise ten," throwing a blue chip into the ring. Everyone else did the same, and the turn passed onto Kurama.

Putting on a poker face to rival Hiei's, he threw three red chips into the ring, saying, "I raise fifteen." After throwing in his chips, it was Kenshin's turn.

"I fold, that I do."

Now with just three people left in the game, it was time to show their hands. Hiei went first. "Royal-" He was cut off by the door being wrenched open once again.

"I told ya this was a bad idea, you big idiot. If we never did this stupid brother to brother thing in the first place, I never would have been stuck with you!" A silver haired, amber eyed, arrogant man protested, walking somewhat ruefully into the train car. The other man eyed him scornfully.

"Well, maybe you ought to thank that idiot girlfriend of yours for suggesting the idea..."

Hiei angrily placed his cards down and walked to the men, easily towered over in height. "Who are you? You just interrupted my game...I was about to scream at the top of my lungs in victory but thanks to your pathetic and uncanny timing, you just pissed me off and trust me, that isn't a good thing," the fire demon remarked between exasperated breaths. The two men stood there, dumbfounded that a half-pint was trying to intimidate them.

"Listen, moron," the arrogant one spoke up, Hiei's eye twitching madly, "I haven't exactly had a good day today so why dontcha back off?"

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Wait a sec, before you start badmouthing my uhh...friend, you should at least tell us who you are..."

He eyed Yusuke. "What's it to you?" The doors slammed shut behind the two brothers.

"Well," Yusuke retorted, "Now you're stuck with us until the train stops again!"

"Oh, great," the arrogant one's brother fumed. "All we had to do was make it to the restaurant, eat something, and be done with it! But the moron here to my right insisted this was the fastest way to get there. Why I listened to you in the first place is something I will never quite understand..."

"Oh, shut it, Fluffy!"

"Whoa!" Sanosuke hollered, stepping in between the feuding pair. "Calm down. I mean, I'm always one for a good brawl, but I really don't think I want to see you two go at it." 'Fluffy' arched an eyebrow at Sanosuke.

"As if a pathetic ningen like you could tell me what to do..."

"Oh, that's it!" Sanosuke seethed.

"Calm down Sanosuke!" Kaoru chided, waving a finger at him. "You know that whenever you pick fights, you ALWAYS lose so don't try and change this!" Sanosuke hmphed and walked away into a random corner.

"Well now that he's sulking in a corner, maybe you guys should tell us who you are. Yeah, that would definitely avoid confusion," Yusuke said, his forefinger standing on end as if he was trying to make a coherent point.

The calmer man out of the two stood forward, a monotonous voice soon followed, "My name is Sesshoumaru and this," he gestured toward the second man, "is my dim-witted half-intelligent, half-demonic brother, Inuyasha." Kenshin raised an eyebrow and scrutinized both men.

"I can see that you are related but I have one question, that I do…" Everyone looked at him and gave the redhead their undivided attention, with the exception of Sanosuke, who was pouting in said random corner, and Hiei who really didn't give a damn about Kenshin's first-impression-analysis. "Are we the only HUMANS on board?"

Hiei felt his lips curl into a smile. "A hunting we will go, ne?"

Kurama sweatdropped. "Sorry to disappoint you Hiei but I won't allow any bloodshed to be had tonight." His smile soon faded.

Sesshoumaru eyed Hiei with slight intrigue, but spoke again, "So when does this make its next stop?"

Kenshin sighed, saying, "That is exactly what we have been trying to find out..." The train zoomed along the track, all its passengers silent.

Yusuke finally broke the silence. "Man, this sucks. I mean, we've got these two freaking love birds, a sulky rooster who thinks he's a badass, Mr. Pink-hair, a manic-depressive midget, and two freaky dogs with white hair." Little did Yusuke know, everyone else in the car was slowly but surely turning their heads towards the juvenile delinquent. "At least we got rid of that creepy mummy guy. I mean, how much worse could it get?" Yusuke looked up, suddenly aware that he had somehow stupidly managed to speak his mind. "I mean, I love you guy oh-so-very much?!" he squeaked, hoping beyond all hope that he wouldn't be momentarily chopped into pieces.

"Midget? You, a baka ningen, dare call the mighty HIEI a midget!?" He rose from his less-than-comfortable sitting position, a hand on his katana hilt.

"And do you have something against my hair, Yusuke?" Kurama inquired, running a hand through said locks.

"Now, now," Kenshin said, trying desperately to calm his newfound acquaintances down. "Arguing right now might not be the best thing! After all, there still isn't anyone driving the train," Kenshin pointed out, while everyone's eyes widened.

"And you didn't tell us this BECAUSE!?" They all screamed at the poor redhead, now cowering in fear near Sanosuke.

"Yup…a baka ningen is what he is… " Inuyasha muttered. Everyone turned to face him and he lethargically snapped his fingers. "Oh that's right, sorry guys," he said as he jerked a thumb toward the aforementioned Kenshin and Sanosuke. "Didn't mean to insult your kind…"

"And anyway…" Yusuke interjected, now feeling the train rock back and forth, "uhh, I think that someone should…kinda go and drive it now before WE ALL GET KILLED!"

Kaoru clapped her hands together. "This is so exciting!" She squealed, holding onto Kenshin, his immediate reaction ending up being a stream of endless 'oros.' Hiei looked at everyone, once, twice, and a random silence ensued. He rose to his feet yet again, sheathed his katana and cleared his throat.

"Screw this, the train is MINE!" He suddenly shrieked while simultaneously charging toward the front of the train.

Kurama groaned and pulled a bottle of aspirin out of his hair. "We're dead for sure…Yusuke…WHY did you have to bring vodka…AGAIN!?" The Tantei looked away and whistled ever innocently, obviously ignoring the Kitsune's comment.

"Got me."

Kurama rolled his eyes. "Why do you find it necessary to get someone drunk in order to have fun?!" he said exasperatedly.

"Phew," Sanosuke sighed with relief. "So he's not always like that, right?" Yusuke and Kurama shared a look.

"You _could_ say that..." Yusuke trailed off, leaving it at that. Inuyasha refocused the group, saying,

"Yeah, so... we still kinda have a crazy dwarf who is probably going to derail this thing and kill all of us..."

"Good point, that it is," Kenshin said, and he, Inuyasha, and Kurama rushed towards the front. This left all the others in an interesting position.

Sesshoumaru had settled himself in one corner, muttering, "Pathetic ningens," at Sanosuke and Yusuke attempting to have a random staring contest. Kaoru sat in another corner, wringing her hands in her lap, obviously very uncomfortable.

"I, uh, think I'll go help them up in front..." she said to no one in particular, gripping her bag and striding towards the front of the car. Sesshoumaru looked with disinterest out the window, watching the stonewall of the subway rush by. Suddenly, his reverie was interrupted by the door through which Kaoru had recently passed bursting open, revealing Kenshin and Kurama carrying an unconscious, lightly bruised Hiei back into the car.

"We left Inuyasha to drive the train. He seemed _pretty_ reliable..." Kenshin announced to the other passengers, interrupting the Suck-ees' staring contest.

Sesshoumaru emitted a small laugh, saying, "Are you kidding? He's not even from this era. Leave it to stupid humans like you to leave my idiot brother to drive a futuristic transportation device."

"In that case," Kurama said, "I'll go assist him." He sped through the door, eager to prevent him and his fellow passengers from death.

Kenshin looked around the car, noticing that something was missing. _What was it?_ A spark of realization lit up his face followed by a question. "Where's Kaoru?"

Sesshoumaru shrugged. He never knew, nor did he ever really care in the first place. "If that girl has a brain, or at least half of one, then she would have done the smart thing and rushed off this thing as fast as she can permit herself to do," he muttered to Kenshin, who was now frantically checking under the seats.

"I have to find her, that I do!" He scrambled up to his feet, darted in a totally different and random direction, whipping out his Sakabatou and slicing any inanimate object that stood in his way. Kurama came back and sat himself politely down onto a seat, looking forlornly at his badly bruised friend.

"You shouldn't touch Yusuke's alcohol anymore. It was rather obvious that you were intoxicated," he muttered to his morbid comrade, who couldn't even hear him at the moment due to the fact that he was rendered unconscious. It was so nice that everyone COMPLETELY DISREGARDED KENSHIN'S CRISIS by simply going about their random lives. One would really think that they had been used to being stuck with strangers by now.

"Hey guys, what's going on now?" Kaoru said innocently, walking back from the front car. Everyone's eyes widened at her.

"You DO know that loverboy is looking for you right?" Yusuke said as he jerked a thumb at the random direction that Kenshin ran toward.

"Kenshin no baka…" Kaoru muttered under her breath, "you know he doesn't always have to know where I'm going. But for the record, it was the bathroom."

A random pause ensued followed. It was quiet. A little too quiet. "YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" A sudden scream rang through everyone's ears. It was Kenshin and there was no telling what he saw in a subway trapped with freaks…

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked! What did Kenshin see that made him scream? Oh and no, the answer is not a mirror. Pleae R&R! Thanks!

TheNautiDolphin & Son Christine


	3. Of Love Slaves and Polaroids

A/N: Hope you like! There's plenty of humor!

Everyone's eyes, even Sesshoumaru's, flickered in the direction of the yelp. Kenshin staggered, as though he was drunk, into the car. Before Kaoru could get out, "What happened to you?", Kenshin said, eyes crossed, "Oh, there you are, Miss Kaoru..." before falling with a thump to the ground.

"Oh, great," Yusuke sighed. "Now we've got two unconscious people on our hands." He ran his hands through his slick black hair. "Just heap him over there with the fire demon," the teen directed at no one in particular. Kaoru emitted a horrified gasp and shot Yusuke a very evil look, which he happened not to catch, and ran over to Kenshin's limp form. Once again, suppressing boredom and silence thickened the air in the train car. Yusuke and Sanosuke both could not keep still, fidgeting until the younger of the two finally burst out, "Alright! That's it! You and me, Sanosuke, right here, right now. I'll play anything: Asshole, 5-Card Stud, B.S., Gin Rummy, Gin...speaking of gin I could use some right now..., hell, I'll even play GO FISH! I'm so EFFING BO-" Suddenly, Yusuke was flung forward into Sesshoumaru. One 'Look of Death' and one ruined shirt later, Yusuke was back on his side of the car, casting uneasy looks in the direction of the formidable demon. Once he had recovered from his near death experience, Yusuke noticed that once again, the train had come to a stop.

"Inuyasha no BAKA!" Sesshoumaru said ANGRILY through clenched teeth. "Can't even drive a friggin' subway," he suddenly began pacing the floor.

Kaoru in the meantime, was hunched over Kenshin, holding a newly acquired icepack in her left hand. "Kenshin…why do you always blindly rush into danger…and in your case, rush into a wall?" Kenshin smiled weakly and took her hand.

"I was worried about you, Miss Kaoru, that I was," she grabbed his hand lovingly and just when a romantic buildup was about to take place, the teen delinquent 'ahem'ed.

"Go make out somewhere else. I hereby declare this car to be the booze car!!!" He then pulled out a random bottle of vodka. Kurama's green eyes flashed with a certain annoyance that the JD was all too good at recognizing by now. "Psh, Kurama, why the hell don't you drink with the rest of us anyways?"

The redhead lethargically sighed and glanced down at his unconscious friend. "Because, Yusuke," he started in an unusually cool tone of voice, "someone has to be responsible and I highly doubt that that someone will ever be you."

The Reikai Tantei scoffed and eyed Sanosuke. "Yo, I'm willing to start over if you knock a couple back with me! Whaddya say!?" Sanosuke, being Sanosuke of course accepted and Kurama just smacked his face with his hand.

"Why me?"

"Aw, c'mon, powderpants! Join the fun! You know you wanna!" Sanosuke said, determined to get Kurama in on the party.

"OR," Kurama replied, "I could just not."

"Whoa, fine. I guess it'll just be me and Yusuke," Sanosuke said, backing slowly away from Kurama, who was presently reading a magazine newly acquired from his hair. Sanosuke took a seat across from Yusuke, who whipped out two shot glasses and a bottle of Bacardi. The older teen was inspired. "Where do you get all this stuff? Aren't you like sixteen?" Yusuke raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"I have my ways," was all he said back to Sanosuke. He turned to out pink-haired friend, interrupting his reading by hollering, "Hey, Kurama! You got a table?"

Sanosuke snorted. "Now why would he have a..." His voice trailed off in amazement as he watched Kurama pull a small folding table out of his hair.

"There," Kurama said, unfolding and setting the table down in the middle of the car. "Will you leave me alone now?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say Kurama," Yusuke said, waving his dismissal with his hand. Yusuke set down his 'equipment' on the table, declaring to Sanosuke, "Drinking contest!"

"Hell yeah!" Sanosuke screamed right back in his face. "Let's go, baby! You'll never beat the MASTA!"

"Watch me!! WAHAHAH!" Yusuke shrieked so loud that his grating voice made even Hiei squirm in his…(inconvenient) state.

"First one to get as much in 'em," Sanosuke started.

"WINS!" Yusuke screamed again. Once the two teens had engaged themselves in the aforementioned drinking contest, Hiei suddenly slowly opened his eyes (much to Kurama's despair). You see, our moody little youkai was probably going to be in his hangover-hood-from-hell phase. Meaning? Oh right, he's going to sound out for blood. So much for being out like a light.

"Ittai nani ga?!" Hiei muttered under his breath as he forced himself up and rubbed the back of his head.

"What happened? Oh the usual...you stole Yusuke's alcohol again," Kurama informed.

"Hn," came the reply of the Jaganshi, crossing his arms. "You have no proof, kitsune." Kurama rolled his flashing emerald eyes and jerked a thumb toward Yusuke and Sano.

"Then tell me, Hiei...where would you get alcohol? Why, from Yusuke of course." Hiei winced and was beginning to get a headache from all of the noise that the two delinquent teenagers were making. "Someone...is going to pay...for giving me this ACCURSED awakening..." The fire demon hissed. And since, he did not like Yusuke and Sanosuke one bit (for the moment anyway) he had set his little sights of revenge on those two. Oh yes, the two drunkards had just signed their death warrants.

"You freaking idiots..." Hiei began, boring holes into the two drunken teens. Apparently, they were completely unaware of this, with Yusuke yelling out "More booooze!" and Sanosuke responding with, "Hear, hear!" Hiei rolled his eyes completely exasperatedly, addressing the two insufferable humans, "If you to don't shut the hell up, you're in for it." He concluded with a menacing glare. Two pairs of glazed eyes rolled in his direction, lingered on him a moment, and then uncontrollable laughter filled the entire car. Then, as suddenly as it started, it was silenced. Kurama, who had been failingly attempting to fall asleep, glanced over to see the two unconscious forms of Sanosuke and Yusuke with Hiei and Sesshoumaru towering over them.

"That should shut them up..." Sesshoumaru trailed off, to which the fire demon responded with a resounding "Hn."

"I never thought I'd ever say this to you, Hiei," Kurama said, "but thank you."

"Hn. I didn't do it for the pleasure of your thanks. I did it so that they would cease their foolish behavior." He folded his arms and quickly readjusted his baggy white collar. "I still don't see how they can succumb to their ningen 'liquid' like that. Hn…"

Kurama blinked, bags under his eyes. "Hiei, I really wouldn't criticize these two…considering the fact that YOU seem to get HIGH on ice cream occasionally."

"You lie…" the Jaganshi hissed angrily. Kurama whistled ever innocently and suddenly, his fatigue suddenly faded away (if there was any REAL exhaustion to begin with) once the idea of blackmail came into mind. Hiei quickly took note of the dangerous gleam in the kitsune's eyes. "What. The. Hell." He muttered in exasperated breaths as he watched his NOW FORMER ally pull out snapshots from the depths of his long and vibrant red hair.

"So I don't have proof do I?" Kurama feigned innocence and took rapid glances at each photograph. He felt his lips curl into a smile. Sesshoumaru watched with mild interest. Blackmail was something that he always found to be incredibly fun. "Does anyone want to see these pictures? Kenshin? Kaoru? Sound interested?" The 'human' said as he chuckled.

"Kitsune…what the HELL are those pictures of?!"

"Oh, these old things? Actually, I think they're quite cute!" Kurama said with a knowing smile that Hiei didn't like in the least. Hiei didn't even bother to go for the Hn-I-couldn't-care-less act - Kurama had just made it personal.

"You should know better than to make a fire demon angry," Hiei grumbled in an annoyed tone. "Just hand them over, and maybe I'll spare you." Kurama chuckled.

"You really think that you threaten me? I know you too well, Hiei. Nice try, though. I've been wanting to show someone these for months." He rounded on Sesshoumaru. "Would you like to see them, Sesshoumaru?"

He smiled slightly in return to the pink-haired boy's question, saying, "While that would be quite entertaining, I think I'd rather watch you blackmail him. As long as you don't show them to anyone else, you can still use them for criminal purposes."

"Touché," Kurama replied. "Thanks for the advice." Hiei just looked more enraged after this exchange. Kurama, meanwhile, was ignoring him as he tried to think up what he could make Hiei do for him.

His thought process was interrupted when, through the ceiling, crashed another life form. Everyone in the car stared at what appeared to be a human girl, who was, at the moment, regaining consciousness. Sesshoumaru turned back to his window, muttering something about "more stupid humans." The girl stood up, shaking her head and dusting off the green shirt she wore which read "YFG". She turned towards Kurama and Hiei, ignoring all the other car passengers.

"Can we, uh, help you?" Kurama asked her as he stuffed the Polaroids into his pocket.

The girl's eyes just lit up, and she screeched, "Make him be your love slave!"

Kurama's eyes went wide. Love slave? Hiei? Okay, he knew that he had been called a girl before but to be asked to...you know...in front of a random child on a train was just...well...a little...odd! "Love WHAT!?" Hiei snapped as he placed a hand on his katana hilt. The girl nodded spastically and this only provoked Hiei's anger. "Die mortal!"

**ZAP.**

There was a bright flash of light for about two seconds and then the smell of something burning soon followed suit. It wasn't before long until their eyes' widened in fear. There sat a pile of ashes. Oh well, she HAD it coming all right. "Uhh…Hiei? That was overdoing it…by JUST A BIT…" Kurama said, whipping out a random broom from his hair and sweeping up the aforementioned ashes. He really hated filthy trains.

"Hn…I don't DO romance. Especially when requested from a ningen…"

Meanwhile, away from the psychotic Hiei and co., Inuyasha was growing tired of driving the train. "Damn it, why the hell did I get stuck driving this piece of crap? Although I must admit, I'm pretty good if I do say so myself." There was a random pause and Inuyasha rolled his tawny eyes lethargically. "Screw this!!! I gotta get outta here!" Inuyasha screamed while using his trusty claws to slash his way out of the moving train. And suddenly, the troupe of freaks had eerily heard the words "IRON REAVER" echo throughout the train.

"FUCK you Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru screamed. "You'll pay for this!!!"

Sesshoumaru dashed towards the front of the train, still screaming at Inuyasha. Everyone else just rolled their eyes as Kurama finished cleaning up the cremated Yaoi Fan Girl. With no one driving the truck or giving it more fuel and it gradually began to slow down. No one dared to go up and inspect the damage, but just as they were about to try to find a way out of the stopped train, one very unexpected hair burst through the door of the car. A very tall, muscular man in a long white coat, followed by a bouncy-looking girl with blue hair, declared to the rest of the car, "My SAKE senses were tingling!" Kenshin 'oro'ed and fell back into Kaoru's arms. "Hey! It's my idiot apprentice! Finally got a lady, I can see! Now, where's that sake...?"

Sanosuke, who had regained consciousness long enough to hear none other than Hiko's grand entrance, slowly slipped the jug in his hand behind his back, hoping he would be able to finish it off himself. Meanwhile, the girl had bounded over to Kurama and Hiei, enveloping them both in a tight squeeze. "It's so good to see you guys!" she exclaimed. "It feels like it's been forever!"

"Even though it's only been three days, I guess I can see where you're coming from..." Kurama said, noticing that while the girl had released him, she still had her arm draped around Hiei, who was at the moment, blushing. "So HIEI," Kurama continued, remembering that he still had those Polaroids, "It's really NICE to see BOTAN, ISN'T IT?!" And Hiei did not like the uncharacteristically devilish grin that was spreading across Kurama's face at that moment.

A/N: Betcha can guess what I'm gonna say next! That's right! R&R! Thanks!


	4. Enter: Tasekano Youko

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! But here's chapter 4!!

"Kitsune, what the HELL are you getting at?" Hiei hissed irately, shrugging off Botan's arm. His face WAS still red after all…

"Oh me? I'm just babbling incoherently. Pay no attention to me or my…" Kurama paused and whipped out the pictures. "WAHAHAHAH!" He shrieked, "pictures…" Botan's eyes went wide.

"Okay then…" she turned to Kenshin and Kaoru. "I'm always one for meeting new people while at the same time hoping that they aren't raging lunatics like Kurama is right now!" She held out a hand and Kaoru unceremoniously shook it. "Hiya!" She squeaked to Kenshin (who was recovering from his 'fall' once Hiko had come aboard). "Don't worry, I'm not THAT weird…er…I hope not anyway. My name is Botan!"

Kenshin smiled sheepishly. "Yes, I had deduced that, that I had."

Botan smiled cheerily and stared at Kaoru and Kenshin together. "You know you two are lucky!" Botan mused randomly, "You two are soul mates, aren't you?" Kenshin fell backward…again…unconsciously sputtering his usual stream of oros.

"W-well…that was my impression! Did I make a mistake?"

"No," Hiko interjected. "This idiot probably is in love with this woman but is too STUPID to see it himself."

Botan crossed her arms and nodded in agreement, "You're right, sir. There are WAY too many stupid people on this train."

Hiei snorted. "And the saddest thing is that you're not the stupidest this time…" Kurama didn't say anything. He just pulled out his pictures and started to guffaw again.

"Weeelll, anyway, I think that I should steer this conversation into a different direction!" Botan chirped. She eyed Kenshin. "Is this strapping man right about you being in love with this woman?" She had a thing for romance and if there was one thing that she LOVED above everything else…it was ROMANCE. Fancy that.

"C'mon, you can tell me, Kenshin," Botan pleaded, hoping to drag a confession out of the redhead.

"Oro...And why exactly should I divulge that information?" Kenshin asked, avoiding answering the question at all costs. Meanwhile, Kaoru's eyes began to water dangerously, and she blurted out, "Well, Kenshin, if you dislike me so much, why don't you just tell everyone in this car and get it over with!" Kenshin gave her a surprised look, holding her arms, trying to calm her down.

"Miss Kaoru, don't say that!" Her wide blue eyes, along with everyone else's, turned towards Kenshin. "Ano...I do...lov-"

He was violently slapped on the back by Hiko, who proclaimed rather loudly, "You can do it, Kenshin!" This was preceded by a small amount of random laughter on Kenshin's master's part. Kenshin gave Hiko a strange look and then refocused his attentions on Kaoru. He cupped her face in his hand, whispering something into her ear. Everyone watched, Botan with much excitement, as Kaoru's eyes got wide, and then her whole face turned crimson.

"Kenshin! I had no idea!" He gave her a big smile, took her by the hand as she giggled girlishly, and led her into the next car, leaving everyone else completely dumbfounded.

The juvenile delinquent's eyes fluttered open fast enough to see Kenshin and Kaoru leave to the next car. "YES!" He rose to his feet rather gracefully. "HENTAI ACTION!" Everyone else failed to see that he used his 'useful' demonic agility to rush through the car, now with a random video camera in hand. WHERE he got that…well, even WE don't know…

"Hn…looks like the Tantei is gone too…" The silence lasted for about oh, say…three seconds before they all heard Kaoru shriek in horror…that and a very loud SLAP.

"You…JERK! Stay over there!" Kaoru cried, looking back at Kenshin. His hair was unruly and his gi was halfway off. This brilliant sight led everyone to believe that well, yeah. STUFF was going on (since this is PG-13, we wouldn't want your ears to be tainted so it has been conveniently been edited for the reader's pleasure). The other car door closed once again and Yusuke rubbed his throbbing head in pain.

"Kuso! Botan, you might have some competition for being freakishly strong for a chick. Maybe she hits harder than Keiko even…" Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Hangover, huh?" Hiko asked. The teen nodded. "Here's sake, this is much better than what you're drinking. I guarantee." The Reikai Tantei's eyes lit up and widened into saucers as he looked at the enormous jug of sake.

Kurama groaned…and then brought up a very good point. "The train has stopped…you know we could make our esc--" then there was a climactic and VERY predictable screech. The train began moving forward. Who was the driver, again, we don't know. "Well, then since I have such an uncanny ability to make things backfire, I think I should use this situation to my advantage and have a little fun." The kitsune flipped his red hair and glared mysteriously at Hiei.

"YES! YAOI HENTAI ACTION!" And a few minutes later, Yusuke was knocked out and thrown in some random corner, courtesy of Kurama and Hiei's wrath.

Kurama stared at Yusuke with extreme disdain, rolling his eyes. He then looked up at Hiei, regaining his mysterious glare. "Back to my previous statement..." Hiei squirmed uncomfortably.

"What are you looking at me like that for?!"

"Oh, you hadn't thought I'd forgotten about these darling things did you?" With an exceedingly devilish grin, Kurama whipped out the infamous Polaroids.

"What the HELL, kitsune?!" But to Hiei's dismay, Kurama had swooped down upon Hiko, dragging Botan over and then threateningly waggling the pictures towards them. Hiei's eyes flamed. "Don't. You. DARE," he seethed.

Kurama flashed him a huge smile, saying, "Oh, but I wouldn't want to deprive them of some quality entertainment, Hiei-kun." Hiei narrowed his eyes dangerously at Kurama, and if looks could kill, Kurama would be a pile of ashes. Wait, Hiei's looks really can kill. Kurama WAS a pile of ashes! Or so Hiei dreamed. Instead, Kurama was staring right back at him, a scarily wide grin plastered across his face.

"Whatever. I don't have time for your crap," Hiei spat as he huffed away to a random corner.

"You know Hiei, it's not nice to ruin other people's fun," Kurama said with mock sadness.

"Good think you can't ruin mine!"

After some quasi-evil snickering, Kurama approached the blue-haired ferry girl, inquiring, "Botan, don't you remember that party in Makai...?"

Botan tapped her index finger against her chin for a few moments. "You mean the one where we had to leave early because Yusuke STUPIDLY fed him ice cream?" The aforementioned teen shot her an annoyed glare but she thought nothing of it. "Yes, Kurama. I remember that party…why do you ask, anyway?" It was then that Hiei's ruby orbs shot up and noticed that Kurama pulled out his ever-trusty CANDID snapshots.

"Don't. You. Dare," the Jaganshi muttered again in exasperated breaths, flames dangerously dancing in his eyes. Poor Botan in the meantime just looked at Hiei, and then Kurama. Hiei. Kurama.

"Can someone PLEASE explain to me what is going on!?" She shrieked, her head starting to spin from all of the confusion.

"I think that the flowerboy is trying to show you those pics of the flameboy," Sanosuke interjected 'smartly' as everyone eyed him in confusion.

"How IS it…that this BAKA rooster knows what's going on and the ferry girl doesn't?!" Hiei snapped, waving his hands in the air rather passionately.

"Never mind that," Kurama said in his suave tone of voice and motioned for Botan to hobble over. She did just that.

"W-wait, kitsune! I'll strike a deal with you…just so long as you keep up with your end of the bargain…and well, not make me do anything stupid and out of line…" Hiei ended his statement with a resounding Hn.

"Okay, then," Kurama agreed, much to the youkai's surprise. "Well, this is going to be interesting…" Kurama muttered to himself, glancing discreetly at Botan. Hiei swallowed hard.

Kurama just smiled right back at him. Oh, this was just too fun! "So, you don't want Botan to see the pictures, am I right?" Hiei nodded vigorously. "Okay, then," Kurama continued, smile growing wider by the minute, "If you don't want her to see them, then, well, no offense Botan, I'm afraid I leave you no choice but to kiss the ferry girl."

Botan's eyes grew to the size of saucers, while Hiei sputtered something along the lines of, "You've GOT to be kidding me," while his cheeks flushed dangerously pink. "Oh, I'm sorry, Hiei! This would be your first kiss wouldn't it?" Hiei cleared his throat suggestively and stuttered, "Um...no?" After that remark, Sanosuke, and Hiko took the liberty of laughing as loudly as possible, while Kenshin and Kaoru tried to hide their smiling faces.

Meanwhile, Botan had stepped closer to Hiei, saying so only he and Kurama could hear, "Look, if the pictures are really that bad, just kiss me and get it over with. 'Kay?" Hiei looked up at Botan as she held his hands in her own and the whole car began to quiet down. "Hn," Hiei said as he leaned in to kiss her full on the lips. Hiko whooped, high-fiving Sanosuke. Kaoru got a rather dreamy look in her eyes, to which Kenshin responded by squeezing her hand and giving her a small kiss. Hiei and Botan's kiss began to draw itself out beyond what anyone expected, and everyone stared, all five pairs of conscious eyes - along with one camera lens.

"I'm ba-ack!" There was the voice that the Jaganshi dreaded with every fiber in his being. It rang eerily through the train car and Kurama's eyes darted around until he saw where the voice was coming from.

"Oh. No," the redhead sputtered as he hid his Polaroids behind his back and whistled innocently.

"YOUKO MY MAN!" Yusuke screeched as he ran up and high fived the teen. "Where've ya been? I haven't seen ya since the party at my house! Dude, I had vodka and everything the night after 'cause my mom got some extra cash from who the hell knows where!"

Youko. Tasekano Youko. He was Yusuke's partner in crime…the only difference? He sure wasn't a juvenile delinquent. As a matter of fact, he graduated high school and was a straight A student… But that's BEYOND what you need to know anyway. "I've been in college, man. It's rough!" Youko interjected in a child-like squeak. Yusuke shrugged. "But look-ee! I have something that I think you'll recognize!" It was at that moment when he pointed to his prized possession, his 'baby', and in other words, his precious video camera.

"HOLY SHIT YOU GOT SHOTS OF THEM KISSING AGAIN!? You're a GENIUS!" Yusuke screamed as he did a head butt of 'victory' with his companion…that…proved…effective. In approximately three seconds, just about everyone (except for Youko and Yusuke) rolled their eyes when they took in the sight of the terrible twosome passed out on the floor.

"Apparently their heads aren't hard enough," Hiei snorted, wiping his mouth with his black sleeve.

"I hope they aren't going to stay like that for long," Sanosuke said as he glared at Yusuke. "I wanna have another contest…"

The train, now that Youko had abandoned his position of driver, began to slow down. Sanosuke excused himself, saying, "I'll be right back," which no one took as a good sign. Kenshin and Kaoru rolled their eyes, while Kurama, who had previously been whistling in a random corner, walked over to the two unconscious bodies.

"If we're getting off soon, I may as well revive them," Kurama said to no one in particular. Hiei looked as though he might protest, to which Kurama said, "I'm sure you don't want to be responsible for dragging them to their houses." Hiei, slightly defeated, sat down on the train bench, deep in some random thought.

Just as the train was about to stop, there was a loud, short scream of "EFF!" from the front of the train and everyone present (and conscious) rolled their eyes as the train sped up again. Groans from all around met Sanosuke as he slowly opened the door to the car, broken lever in hand. "Um, I think I broke the train..." he sheepishly admitted.

Kenshin exasperatedly ran his hands through his hair, saying, "What do you mean, Sano?", honestly fearing the answer.

"Well, there was this lever, and it said 'stop' on one side and 'fast' on the other, and I kinda, well pulled it the wrong way - towards 'fast'."

"Oro..." was all Kenshin could respond with.

"Hey, idiot apprentice, calm down," Hiko said to Kenshin. "This whole being-stuck-on-a-train-thing is actually kinda fun!"

"Oh, really? Spend a few more hours with this lot and then come back and talk to me," Kenshin burst out. When he became aware of Hiei's accusing glare, he added quickly, "...I mean, I love you guys?" Hiei just 'hn'ed and let his eyes wander over to his least favorite kitsune of the moment, who was presently hovering over Yusuke and Youko, working his best to revive them with his medicinal herbs as Botan watched intently as he worked.

"There," that should do it, Kurama stated coolly as he took a few steps back and watched as the teens groggily opened their eyes.

"What…the hell happened to me?! Where am I!?" Youko panicked as he ungracefully leapt to his feet and let his eyes dart around. He landed on Kenshin and Kaoru. "Dude…" Yusuke blinked and eyed the older teen in wonder.

"What's up bud? These guys too weird or something?"

"No, it's not that…" Kaoru bit her lip and looked in the other direction, starting to whistle.

"That…is SO off key…" Hiei muttered under his breath. "You shouldn't tease her, that you shouldn't," Kenshin said, wrapping an arm protectively around Kaoru.

Youko's eyes nearly bugged out. "What the HELL!?" He yelped, jabbing a finger into the air. "Himura?! Kao-chan!? Why the heck are you guys here!? Aren't you married yet!?"

Kenshin sweatdropped and Yusuke only snorted. "Ya know this nut?" Youko raised an eyebrow and shrugged in a defeatist manner.

"Yeah, Himura was my teach in senior year. He was supposed to get married to Kaoru over here."

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Well from being with the dude for a while, I'd have to say he's pretty damn slow. I wouldn't be surprised if he never did it."

"Did what?!" Hiko retorted, now ignoring his sake jug only to come over and eye his pupil.

"Uh, didn't ya hear what I just said? That Himura was supposed to marry Kaoru."

Hiko's reply was of a robotic sort… "Whaaaaaaat…"

Youko raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Dude…are you trying to be Robot Krabs from that random Spongebob episode???"

Yusuke clapped hands together and shrieked in delight. "Oh MAN! That was freakin' hilarious. You mean the one where plankton made a robot of Krabs and went inside it? The one that changed into a toaster at will!?" "Yeah! That's the one!!"

Youko and Yusuke were about to high-five each other when suddenly, a small metal, object went crashed through one window and went zooming by their heads, knocking Youko out before it flew out the other window. Yusuke put on a very puzzled expression, stating, "Well, THAT was random... But, what the hell? It was Robot Krabs, so it's cool in my book!" Everyone in the car sweatdropped; Yusuke was on all their last nerves.

Hiei muttered, "Well, at least the baka ningen is knocked out...If only I could get my hands around Yusuke's throat..."

"Now, now," Kurama said, "You know Koenma would flip if you killed the Reikai Tantei." Hiei looked up at him surprisedly, not realizing anyone had heard his random angry grumblings. "And besides," Kurama continued, "We all know that you like to get 'lost in the moment' every once in a while." Hiei could only imagine that Kurama had once again begun his humiliating-Hiei-and-at-the-same-time-getting-him-some-from-Botan campaign by the devilish grin the pink-haired teen flashed him. "You know, you really should make sure you destroy all cameras in the vicinity before you decide to get wasted," Kurama said with an impish laugh as he flashed the dreaded pictures at Hiei.

Hiei suddenly got a very demonic idea, which was suiting, seeing as he was, in fact, a demon. He put on as innocent act as a demon could manage as he asked Kurama, "Oh, fox-boy, can I have a quick look at those pictures? I promise I won't destroy them."

Kurama looked as though to think for a moment, and for some reason, whether it was preoccupation or just sheer stupidity, he happily answered, "Sure!"

A/N: If you got confused with the Youko part...well that's natural, seeing how he's a character that belongs to me (Son Christine) and is introduced in a few of my fics. Besides, what would one more freak do on a train anyway? Hardly much. Please review!!

TheNautiDolphin & Son Christine


	5. Yusuke: Bringer of War

A/N: Thanks for sticking by so far! Enjoy the next installment!

* * *

"HA! YAROU!" Hiei shouted as he submerged himself in blazing ki. Kurama's eyes widened once he noticed that the pictures turned into a crispy black amongst the impressive inferno. 

"Why me? Alas, my partner in crime," the redhead cried theatrically, throwing a limb across his eyes and sarcastically weeping. Hiei smirked triumphantly and walked toward the 'troubled' kitsune.

"Now you all have witnessed the debonair craftiness of Jaganshi Hiei," the cocky fire demon announced proudly, turning his nose up at the now hysterical Kurama.

"WHYYYY! I'm so hurt that I can't even talk to you! I can't even LOOK at you! That's how horribly thou hath betrayed me!"

Yusuke's eyes rolled down to half-mast. "Dude…cut the Shakespeare crap. He's been dead for what was it…thousands of years or something?" He involuntarily looked toward HIS partner in crime for the answer. But to no avail. He was still knocked out thanks to the freakily possessed Robot Krabs (who had uncanny timing to make his cameo appearance once Spongebob was in fact mentioned).

"Well, there's no use in crying over spilt ALCOHOL," Kurama hollered as he sat in a random corner. "I think I'll sit HERE. Out of the WAY. Studying Biology and minding my own business!" Yusuke and Botan exchanged a very worried glance.

"My money's on Kurama, that it is…" Kenshin noted.

"Yep…he's got more pictures…" Kaoru added, shaking her head at the now cackling hi-youkai.

"Hey, Kurama? Wanna, uh, gimme some help? I'm just barely passing Biology 23..." whined Yusuke.

"Why, sure, I'd love to bestow upon you some of my great, AP Biology knowledge with you," Kurama replied, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, then," Yusuke began, "What's with all that cell respiration mumbo jumbo..."

He was interrupted by Kurama's overly-loud laughter. "That's funny. You thought I was serious." He then commenced to return to his trusty, thick-spined biology text book. Yusuke, frustrated by the grinning Kurama and the cackling Hiei, turned on Kenshin and Kaoru, interrupting their conversation about plans for their upcoming wedding. Kenshin held up a hand before the rambunctious teen could even begin to talk.

"Not now, Yusuke," Kaoru pleaded.

"Well, jeez..." Yusuke muttered, very put out by every one ignoring him. He put his back against the wall near where Youko was just rousing from his unconsciousness and slid down until he hit the floor. Youko blinked a few times and perched himself into a sitting position, rubbing the large bump that had formed on the back of his head. "Good, you're awake," Yusuke said, rubbing his hands together menacingly.

"Um, Yusuk, I really don't like those looks you're giving to everyone on the other side of the car..."

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do when everyone's freaking ignoring me? How would YOU like it if, for one thing, some accursed FOX," Yusuke paused dramatically, evil eyeing the aforementioned kitsune, "ignores your desperate plea to pass class?"

Youko scratched his head vaguely. "Man, first off, I don't have that kind of problem in school. Like I said before, I'm in college…"

Kurama smiled at the prodigy, Yusuke just rolled his eyes, "Dude, you're not supposed to make me look like crap here."

"Well, let's see it from a different point of view," Kurama interposed, jabbing a finger in the air. "Hiei has never been to school before and I am sure that you are smarter than he is." Hiei's eye suddenly twitched madly at the thought of dragging him into the argument.

"Kitsune! Shut up! I thought that I had finally kept you quiet after I burned those accursed things!"

Kurama sighed in a semi-defeatist manner. "Hmm, right I forgot all about those pictures. Darn…" Snapping his fingers lethargically and proceeding to read his Biology textbook, Yusuke was tempted to either freak out, or scream manically.

"That's it! Who here is getting really annoyed with Kurama!" The teen shouted, pointing fingers at the poor, innocent student.

"I know for one thing, I am…" Hiei muttered cynically.

"You don't really mean that, guys?" Kurama inquired, standing up and banging his foot on the ground.

"Yup," Sanosuke muttered. "Yusuke's mad at ya 'cause you didn't help him out before. Well, that and the fact that you're being pretty stuck up." Kenshin's eyes widened as he listened to the colorful words that his best friend happened to be saying.

"Sano, that isn't nice, that it isn't!" Kenshin defended.

Yusuke only snorted in disgust. "Well, Whaddya expect, here? It's bishounen helping bishounen. All right then! If that's the way ya wanna play, then we're splitting up into teams! It's me, the Youk-man, Hiei, and you Sano! Get over here! Everyone else, don't cross this line!" Yusuke folded his arms smugly and laughed at his own commando-ing accomplishments. Kurama just put a hand up to his forehead and sighed heavily.

Kurama closed his eyes, shaking his head. "We are not demeaning ourselves to the point of physical combat..." Kurama trailed off as he opened his eyes to find Yusuke's spirit finger pointing straight at his forehead. Kurama put up his hands, nervously smiling and slowly backing away while Kenshin automatically protectively shielded Kaoru with one hand as he put the other on the hilt of his sword. Sanosuke cracked his knuckles as Youko looked around and shrugged, ready for whatever. Hiei menacingly glared at his most hated bishounen of the moment, his flaring temper matching his inner fire demon.

Almost anticlimactically, one of the remaining windows of the train burst open, revealing a large form that came tumbling into the room. Before the newcomer could say, "Oy, fuckas!" Kenshin was off, starting into one of his (almost)deadly attacks. Kenshin screamed "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu Sho Sen!", launching his attack at the seemingly Australian visitor. "What was that? Trayn-sah-late yahself, mate!"the Aussi screamed right back, but before Kenshin could give him an answer, he was sent flying, in slow motion, towards the back of the car. Youko and Sano looked in amazement as his body was sent flying backwards. Hiei and Yusuke were far too involved staring at Kurama evilly to notice.

"Hey, Kenshin! I didn't know your sword could slow down time, too! That's sweet!" He and Youko high-fived until they got near-deadly stares from Yusuke and Hiei. "Um..." Youko stuttered, "We, uh, we meant, uh, Kenshin sucks! Go Mr. Aussi!"

"Yah freaks neahly beat thah crap outta me! What in ahl tha blazes is goin' ohn!" The Aussi screamed, passionately waving his hands in the air.

"You tell us, baka ningen…" Hiei muttered angrily, folding his arms across his chest, feeling a bit too smug for everyone else's tastes.

"I duhno how the heeel I got heah! I mean, maybe it was that ninjeeh…"

Yusuke cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "Shinobi? You mean Jin or something?"

The Aussi paused for a moment. "Who's Jihn! Nah, he wahsn't tha guy… I was on this quest befohh…" Hiei balled up a fist, unable to deal with the Australian's heavy accent.

"Oh no, I don't have a good feeling about this, that I don't…" Kenshin muttered, eyeing the temperamental fire demon and the foreigner. Demon. Foreigner.

"….Kono yarou! Jagan no chikara o nameru dayou! Ensatsu KOKURYUUHA!"

All eyes landed on the poor Aussi who had (un)fortunately managed to tick Hiei off even further. "And you didn't even translate for him," Kaoru noted forlornly, staring down at the pile of ash that was now the random traveler… who, for some strange reason, had decided to come aboard the train of raging freaks in the first place.

"Wow…Hiei… I know that you've got a short fuse but how come you took out all your anger on this dude, rather than wasting Kurama?" That said bishounen suddenly flinched and Hiei glared menacingly at poor Kurama. "YES!" The Tantei screamed, punching a victorious fist into the air. "Now that that random loser is gone, let the war commence!"

Sanosuke suddenly hung his head. "I liked that random loser for some reason…"

Yusuke scrunched up his forehead in confusion. "War is better, buddy. Trust me. Take it from ME! The pro at killing evil scum!" Kenshin rolled his eyes.

"I do believe that he has been exposed to too much violence for today…"

"Not quite," quipped Hiei, "We're just getting our revenge out now. After all, Kurama still hasn't paid for the humiliation he's put me through."

Kurama suddenly had a mysterious twinkle in his eye. "Hmm… and I do believe…that I am not finished…"

"Shit!" Youko wailed in a defeatist tone, throwing his arms up in defeat. "MORE FREAKISH SCHEMES, NO DOUBT!"

Faster than Kurama could say "Rose whip!", Hiei jumped on Kurama, forgetting completely his speed, skill with a katana, and fire demon powers. The redhead let out a blood curdling scream as the pair entangled themselves in one compromising position after another. Kenshin, using the swiftness of his sword, forced the air towards the fray, pushing Kurama and Hiei into the next car.

"Now that that's over with..." Kenshin and Kaoru both breathed sighs of relief.

They were about to sit down and continue their interrupted wedding conversation when Yusuke burst out, "What the EFF do you think you're doing! That was gonna be an AWESOME BRAWL!" As Sanosuke went off to sulk in the corner over his dead Aussi friend, Yusuke lunged at Kenshin going out for a full-frontal physical attack. In one fluid movement, our other redheaded bishounen had taken the juvenile delinquent's two balled fists and tied them behind his back.

"Think about it, Yusuke. Your troubled soul, your bottled up anger, and your lesser experience than mine. Do you really think you can win this without getting seriously injured?" Kenshin questioned in his best dramatic voice.

"Oh! Don't EVEN go all Rent-a-Shrink on me!" Yusuke hollered back, delivering a rather strong kick to Kenshin's groin.

Kenshin had heard himself shriek like a schoolgirl once he had felt the obvious pain that was delivered by Yusuke's wrath. It was inevitable really. "Next time you go and give me those screwed up lectures, think about your balls going BYE BYE!" Kenshin hugged his knees on the floor before promptly hearing noises coming from the next car. Kurama and Hiei no doubt. The question on everyone's minds was: were they both even alive? Considering Hiei's fiery temper, probably not.

"I got bets on FLAME BOY!" Youko shrieked, waving 5,000 yen in the air frantically. Yusuke rose to the challenge. He waved 7,000 yen in the air.

"Dude..." Sanosuke muttered. "You really don't look like you'd be the type to carry a lot of cash around... did you steal it?"

"Err...no... and anyways, that's not even the point, is it?" Sanosuke shrugged. "So how bout you, Kenshin? You in?"

The redhead delivered the Reikai Tantei a malevolent glare. "I just got kicked by you...and now you're asking if I want to participate in a foolish bet? Just who do you take me for?"

"Er... an idiot?" Yusuke suggested, his face enveloped in a certain pensive demeanor. Screams could suddenly be heard from the aforementioned car in which Hiei and Kurama were...supposedly killing each other.

"Get ready to cough up 12,000 yen, bud!" Youko screeched, ever ready to see what the result of the hard-core brawl would be. Of course he'd be doing the coughing if Kurama somehow came out unscathed in Hiei's stead.

With a sudden thud, all in the next car fell silent. As the door swished open, Youko and Yusuke held their breath, waiting to see which demon fighterwould emerge victorious. Kurama's red head bobbed through the door and Yusuke screeched at the top of his lungs, jumping on top of Kurama. Youko hung his head, sulking over to one of the benches that lined the steel train car.

After Yusuke was done screeching and congratulating Kurama, he walked over to Youko to collect his earnings. The valedictorian took the money out of his back pocket, preparing to reluctantly hand it over to his juvenile delinquent pal, as the aforementioned troublemaker called over his shoulder, "I know how to bet 'em, eh, Kura-chan?"

Just as Kurama was about to respond to Yusuke's arrogant and annoying comment, his feet were pulled out from under him and he was seemingly sucked back into the other car, from which Hiei's furious shouts and…were those moans! Hmm. "La, la, la, LA!" Kaoru shrieked, drowning out the, erm...odd noises from the other car, Yusuke's cursing, Youko's shouts of hope, and Kenshin's groans as he grabbed gingerly onto his pained lower region.

* * *

A/N: Just what ARE those moanings all about? O.O;; Next chapter: coming soon! Please review! Ja ne...! 

Son Christine and TheNautiDolphin


	6. Alien Encounter?

A/N: We're back and ready for more eye-popping wtfs! Enjoy!

* * *

"…What…is going on…over there…" Botan muttered, rousing from her state of sleep. 

"It looks like to me that they're not fighting anymore but doing something else," Kenshin noted in a monotonous voice.

Yusuke glared at Botan. "Oh hey, I was wondering where you went off to. Say, speaking of the ability to conjure up random missing people, where'd Hiko go?" Kenshin had been contemplating the exact same thing not too long ago.

"If he's as smart as he probably thinks he is, he would have found a way to get off." Kaoru mused.

"Or maybe he's driving the train now…?" Youko suggested. There was a slight pause. "And I'm worrying about that WHY? Kami-sama! We've got the shortest attention spans in the world, people! Were there not JUST moans coming from Hiei and Kurama's car?"

Yusuke leapt up in delight. "I KNEW that there would be some sweet YAOI HENTAI ACTION! I said it before, remember?"

Kenshin and Kaoru rolled their eyes. "Yes we have not forgotten, that we have not…" Kenshin muttered, beginning a new search for the miracle pill called aspirin.

"Okay, so if they're really in there doing…um, that. We hafta catch them in the act!" Yusuke declared brilliantly.

"And the way to do that… is to use my baby!" The sounds of the two teen boys' hysterical laughter only made Botan waltz to the end of the car and try to lapse back into the sleep that she had experiencing prior to finding out about any moaning coming from the adjacent car. Youko readied his video camera, making sure that the tape was in the proper place for filming the dastardly woes of Kurama and Hiei.

"Hey check these out!" Yusuke squeaked, acquiring thick black sunglasses and putting them on as if he were an extra in the Matrix.

"For dramatic effect, right?" Youko grinned.

"Yup! Just call me AGENT TANTEI!"

Just as Yusuke was about to bust open the car door, exposing Hiei and Kurama's situation, the aforementioned pair walked into the car with mischievous grins on their faces."Hey!" Yusuke hollered, unable to blurt out anything else. "I was counting on some good yaoi hentai ACTION! Sheesh! Way to ruin everything!" And with this, the juvenile delinquent slumped down into a seat. Youko shrugged and sat down next to him. This only caused Hiei and Kurama's smiles to widen.

Botan asked the pair interestedly, "What're you two all smiley about! Do I even want to know what you two were up to in that car?"

"Oh, it was nothing..." Kurama said, leaving everyone else to wonder if this was really true.

"Nothing _they_ won't find out soon enough," Hiei muttered, looking at Yusuke and Youko.

The two boys shrugged without a care in the world. "Meh, whatever, I lost interest anyways." Hiei rolled his ruby eyes distastefully as he allowed himself to wander aimlessly around the car.

"You know," Kurama started, "I was beginning to think why we have not even attempted to escape this train..." A chill settled over the hearts of the group.

"Well, why don't we look around or something?" Yusuke 'brilliantly' suggested, averting his eyes to nothing in particular.

"Maybe we should try and find out who is driving the train again..." Kenshin muttered under his breath. "I do think that it would help if we split up..." Kaoru smiled at him and clung onto his arm.

"...Eeeh, fine then! Pink head'll go with manic midget, Kaoru and Kenshin'll stay here and Youko and Yusuk'll do...something?" Sanosuke suggested. A disturbing silence shut him up. "Fine, I'll be right back...WITH a driver."

The group watched Sanosuke wander off into some other random car. "So..." Yusuke began, his ADD kicking in as the wall he was previously staring at had become too boring. "Are we gonna help him or what?" Everyone just looked back at him, dead to the world. "Jeez, guys, don't get too excited, or anything..."

Botan, who had so far gone pretty much unnoticed, announced to anyone who cared, "I'm going to help Sanosuke."

They turned around, not expecting any reaction, but unfortunately were greeted by Youko and Yusuke, who said they would be "glad to help... :cough: out." One resounding "NO!" and two large bumps on Yusuke's head later, she huffed out of the car as Youko shook with silent laughter. Between gasping breaths of air, he was able to get out, "And to think he mastered the Spirit Gun..." But before Yusuke was able to give Youko the whooping he apparently deserved, the car door opened, smacking Yusuke in the head and rendering him unconscious.

As Youko once again broke into a fit of laughter and everyone breathed out a sigh of relief that the pain-in-the-ass Tantei had finally shut up, Sanosuke appeared in the door wayhands in his pocket as he announced, "No driver. Which is kind of creepy, but I guess the train runs on its own as long as we don't hit anything. Or something like that. How should I know? I'm only nineteen and I spend a majority of my time getting wasted."

"Which isn't necessarily the wisest choice, that it isn't," Kenshin muttered, rubbing his temples in frustration.

Hiei clapped mockingly. "Hn, it looks like someone's on a short fuse." Kenshin glared offendingly at said midget™ but said nothing in his defense.

"I really do think that we should first try and wake Yusuke..." Everyone 'boo'ed at Kurama's evil suggestion and went about doing nothing in particular. "Okay then...well since Sanosuke-san has just informed us that there really ISN'T a driver in front, I think that we should ALL try and see what's going on... from there, I believe that we can find some way to get off this train without having anyone astray." Mutterings of consent followed the bishounen's statement and they promptly followed in a single line toward the front of the car, Kurama leading, Kenshin's hand latched onto Kaoru's, Youko still giddy from when Yusuke was knocked out, Sanosuke carrying Yusuke over his broad shoulder, Hiei striding forward with both hands in his pocket, and Botan ever tempted to jump into Hiei's arms since she really didn't like trains as it was. But she remembered the fact that he was a bloodthirsty youkai and decided to refrain from taking said leap.

Kurama suddenly twirled around once he reached the outside of theconductor's room. "One, two, three, four, five, six...seven..." Silence. "Wait a minute... where is Seijuuro-san!" Kurama cried. Instinctly sliding the heavy door open, his emerald eyes widened in shock, as well as twelve others (remember, Yusuke's out like a light). There, Kurama saw that there was a large hole adjacent to the drivers seat. The train had been torn open.

"Hiko left... through here...while the train stopped..." Kenshin seethed.

"Yup," everyone nodded.

Just then, before any one of the comedic hopefuls could open their mouths, the train came to a lurching stop as the lights flickered out and everyone flew forward. Kaoru would have fallen through the gaping hole, kimono, sandals, and all, if Kenshin hadn't used his god-like speed and reaction time to straddle the hole and catch her at the last moment. Just as the groupthought they had a one-way ticket to freedom in the form of one giant hole in the side of the train and the group started shoving Kenshin, carrying a fainted Kaoru, out of the way, a horrible sound of grinding, ripping metal made them all freeze in place, cringe, and cover their ears.

Those of them that could look up saw something that looked like giant fingers prying open the top of the train.Sanosuke's scream of "What the FUCK..?" was drowned out by the deafening sound of the train's greasy, metal ceiling giving way to bright blue skies. What seemed to be an enormous robot stood many feet above them appeared to be looking down at and studying the passengers. After a quick moment, the robot-thing accessed two ten-ton daggers from its sides and began to slash downward at the car.

"Omgomgomgomg, we're being attacked… Ooookay no big deal!" Youko cried, eyes widening as he proceeded to look around frantically. The rest of the group was also puzzled as to why they were being attacked all of a sudden. And to make matters worse, it seemed to be a gargantuan…robot…

"Hn, like this thing can intimidate me," Hiei snorted while folding his arms across his chest. "But it is welcome to try."

Kurama rolled his eyes distastefully. "I believe our top priority is getting out of here…" he paused and there was a short moment of silence, "…ALIVE!" His resounding command caused all persons in the car to leap out of the large hole in the side of the train so that they could escape the two ten ton daggers that just so happened to be impaling their car.

"It seems like every time I get stuck with people I don't know, I get migraines…" Botan groaned as she rummaged around in her purse for a bottle of aspirin. Kaoru nodded.

"Yo, Jou-chan that reminds me…what did you do with yours when we first got on this thing?"

"Now, now…can we get off this thing _safely_ before we get _our throats cut!_" Youko cried again theatrically. Just as they were about to leap onto a different train for the sheer hell of it, the cockpit of the machine opened widely and out scurried three teens. "Oh great…" Kenshin muttered as he watched them walk in their direction. "More freaks…"

"Hey!"a rather angry looking youth with short silver hair called out to our favorite manslayer. "Who're you calling freaks! We happen to be highly-trained pilots genetically engineered to be better than ALL of you!"

Hiei was the only one who took an immediate liking to the stranger. "Finally! Someone who _isn't_ a human-hugging idiot!"

"Now, now, Yzak," one of the other boys said, holding up a hand to quiet his angrier friend down. "I don't think that's a very nice way to introduce ourselves. By the way," he turned to face the strangers in front of him, "I'm Athrun. Athrun Zala." Botan, the only unattached female present, was heard swooning at the sheer good looks of the dark haired, green eyed hunk from Kami-knows-where.

"Quite the ladies man, aren't we today, Athrun," the third and final boy chided, stepping forward. "Last but not least, I'm Kira Yamato." He winked at Botan, apparently aware he was almost as attractive as his best friend. This time, Botan fainted.

Yusuke stepped over her limp form, approaching the trio. "Err…I guess you can join up with our group. If you want."

"Although that sounds exciting," Athrun said warily, "we are in desperate need of somewhere to hide…you see, our GUNDAM has a low power supply…"

"GUNDAM?" Kaoru inquired, clearly voicing the rest of the group's confusion.

"General Unilateral Neuro-link Dispersive Autonomic Maneuver," Kira interjected matter-of-factly, his words completely lost on everyone else.

"It sounds difficult, that it does," Kenshin said, his feelings reflected by everyone else.

"Well, not really," Kira began, but Athrun cut him off.

"I believe that these people are from a different time, before people lived in space."

Kira was astonished. "People were alive back then! Damn…I must have skipped over the grade where they taught us that!"

"Kuso, kuso, kuso, KUSO!" Yzak suddenly shrieked, startling everyone.

"Oh, no," Kurama said, looking towards the sky and realizing Yzak's reason for screaming profanity….

It was at that moment, unfortunately, that an approaching mobile suit had decided to wage war upon the poor unfortunates glaring up at said piece of machinery. "Double-sided barrels on the atomic-lateral portions of the Gundam. Quite a new model," Yzak mused before promptly throwing his hands up in the air. "What am I saying? We've gotta get out of here!"

"And it's not like these people understood you anyway!" Kira added.

"But where the hell are we supposed to go?" Youko cried, his histrionics almost dared to rival those of Yzak's. "All I see is another train! I mean, this IS a train station right? So our only ticket is—"

Hiei glared at his 'not-so-favorite-teen-of-the-year'. "Oh no, there's NO way in hell—"

Five minutes later…

"…I CAN'T believe we're in one of these again. Couldn't anyone think of a brilliant plan under pressure?" Hiei snarled, his katana at the ready.

Kira watched the fire demon with a certain interest. "Well, since I skipped over that grade, wanna tell me what it's like living without war and robots and, y'know…basically everything we depend on nowadays…" Kurama raised an eyebrow slowly.

"No effing way! No way! You guys are like aliens or something!" Yusuke shrieked, "I know how this is gonna turn out! You're gonna conjure up some straws or something and say that you wanna suck out our spleens! And then we'll be like 'Noooo, we're too stupid to beat you!' But not before getting your dog with three eyes to shrink us down to micro-size so you can step all over our bodies and--"

"Quite the colorful imagination," Athrun noted dully. "So what do you suppose we do Kira?"

"…comes out of a garbage can and…"

"Kira?" Athrun questioned.

"…and then we'll be like 'Judgment day is here!'"

"KIRA!" Athrun cried, glaring maliciously at the purple-eyed teen.

"Whaaat? Athrun, have a drink, sit down, do something! This story that this guy is telling is amazing!"

Everyone threw their arms up in defeat as Yusuke proceeded to yell at the coordinators while Athrun just smacked himself in the head. "This… this is going to be worse than ANY Earth Alliance encounter I've ever had before…"

"Just wait, it gets worse, that it does," Kenshin informed languidly.

* * *

A/N: Yet another chapter complete! And remember...Inuyasha used his Sankontessou to rip open the train before, so Hiko conveniently used that, as did everyone else. Hope you liked the chapter, even if you may have thought it weird. Please review!

The Jagans


End file.
